Publish Your Best Self NOW

Edits are never ending- and that’s ok…

Don’t over-edit yourself to the point of standing still; focus on progress over perfection!

As a writer, one of the first things you learn is the importance of editing your work. To edit is to diligently go over your project—to correct, modify, condense, amend, remove, add, improve, and polish until you're finally ready to publish your contribution for the masses to enjoy.

It's crucial. After all, nobody wants to put something out into the world that doesn't quite cut it—or worse, damages their reputation.

Many writers find that hiring an editor is a must. Editors have the skills and experience to take your project, and move it toward that final stage of production—which, after all, is the goal, isn't it?

The problem is that this process can sometimes take months, even years, before you finally decide that you have a finished product worthy of sharing.

And at some point, you just have to stop editing.

As critical as we can be of ourselves, we could go back over the same project time and time again. Trust me, I've done it far too often.

There's always something we missed the first time. A new thought. Something that should be added or removed. Some detail that needs to be changed. A completely different direction we suddenly think we should take.

If we keep doing that, we'll never have a finished product. And I think the same thing happens in our lives. There is no perfect finished product

Over-editing ourselves

As humans, we're constantly looking for ways to improve ourselves—and honestly, we should be. Without change, there is no growth, and without growth, well...what are we doing here? We need to evolve in some way each day that we're given another opportunity to become our best selves.

We're looking for ways to look better, feel better, increase our wealth, become better friends, parents, partners, and people. We want to actually love what we see in the mirror each day—well, most days anyway.

But here's the thing, we can over-edit ourselves, too. To the point of crippling any movement or progress we could be making.

As usual, I’ll share my story (no judgment, we all have one ). 😁

After the abrupt end of my 30-year career, I was desperately looking for ways to quickly reinvent myself. I decided it was time to take a chance on myself for once, by focusing on my writing, learning new things, meeting new people, and starting to build something I’ve been wanting for a few years, Lotus Ascend.

So, it was time to self-edit again. I told myself that losing weight first would help me get into the rooms I wanted to be in. Oh, and before I could start becoming more visible on social media and in person, I needed to change my hair style and color.

Also, I couldn’t possibly start introducing my writing until my website was totally up to par. I would need a new wardrobe if I planned to host events. I’d need to pay for and pass three courses I felt would give me “credibility”.

Then, I found that while I had shelved my dreams working in the corporate world, all of my ideas had been taken by others, and now there were far too many people already doing what I planned on doing. I’d have to try to recreate something that NO one else had ever thought of! 🙄. After I took care of all of these things, I thought to myself, then, I’d finally be ready!

Needless to say, the anxiety that came with all of those thoughts taking up valuable real estate in my head eventually contributed to feelings of doubt, fear, being overwhelmed, low self-worth and the worst thing- standing still. So for a while, I did nothing. I didn’t write. I didn’t start working out. I was just stuck. The pressure I had put on myself was not helpful at all. And while I was standing still, waiting for my ALL of my final edits to be ready, at least three more of my ideas had been “stolen” and were all over social media (LOL). 🤔

I had convinced myself that unless I was able to appear perfect and be immediately successful, this was just too much of a daunting task. Maybe I should just start looking for work again. At least I knew what I was doing in that regard and could fall back into my comfort zone.

Know when to stop editing and Just Do It!

But NO! NO! I gave myself grace, locked in and bit off one chunk at a time. I DID end up getting a new hairstyle, and for now, that would be quite enough. I dropped a few IG reels and posted new stories and photos on my website, even if it wasn’t exactly as polished as I wanted it to be.

At some point, I had to decide that I was happy with what I saw in the mirror and the skills I possessed right then.

I could continue working on myself later. There would always be another area to edit.

But I didn't have to hold the entire project hostage because every single section wasn't finished.

I was allowed to celebrate the progress I'd already made. You are allowed to celebrate yourself every step along your journey. And one more thing…

Be sure you are editing with YOURSELF in mind

While literary editors serve a very distinct and valuable purpose- tweaking, polishing, and helping us to put out a body of work we’ll be proud of; sometimes people in our personal lives may do the exact opposite.

This is where I think many of us—including me—get ourselves into trouble.

We don't always edit ourselves for ourselves. Sometimes we're editing ourselves for everyone else.

We're constantly going back to the drawing board based on what other people think we should look like, how we should behave, what we should accomplish, or where we should be going. You wouldn’t let an editor change your story so much that you don’t even recognize it as your own words right?

Be your authentic self. Set a goal. Work toward it. Reach it. Repeat. And then give yourself permission to enjoy each milestone along the way.

Even if it's not perfect. Especially if it's not perfect. It will reach the people it's meant to reach.

There is only the version of you that exists today. And she deserves to be celebrated, too. And lastly-

Choose your co-editors carefully

Just as writers sometimes need editors, many of us need people in our lives who can help us along the way.

Friends and family, partners, colleagues, mentors, coaches etc.

These people can help us see things we can't always see for ourselves. They give us perspective, share their experiences, challenge us, encourage us, and sometimes simply give us a safe place to talk things through.

My coworker and I used to take what we called "sanity walks" whenever things got hairy at the office. We'd start out talking about work and somehow end up working through all kinds of non-work-related issues.

We all need people like that. But there's a caution here, too:

Be careful of people who want to become Editor-in-Chief of your life.

There is a difference between someone offering guidance and constructive criticism and someone trying to turn you into their own personal project.

You know the ones. They take your ideas, your thoughts, your accomplishments, and your progress—and somehow make them about themselves.

They keep trying to edit you into the person they think you should be, pushing you in directions that satisfy their own vision- wanting credit even!

Take the advice that serves you. Consider the criticism that helps you grow. But don't hand someone else the pen.

You are still the author of your life. But every now and then, put the red pen down.

Look at the person you've become, at the progress you’ve made.

And say:

This is good enough for today.

Until next time!

With Love 💖, Kim